2019, Thank You !

As I sat here at least ten minutes before actually typing anything, I thought about what direction this post should take. There is so much I could say. Although we have just one full day of year 2019 remaining, I've gotta say, I am feeling pretty reminiscent in this moment. It literally feels like we were just getting all hype for 2019. During that time, I was in Greenville, South Carolina. The traffic to get inside of the Church's parking lot was insane, anticipation of the new year's treasure filled the air, confetti was falling and then I find myself eating the cutest chicken n' waffles slider with some fruit. LOL. Definitely enjoyed that part. Point being, his year sped by!

During this post I may speak on a few things, but I would love to point out a valuable lesson 2019 taught me. That lesson was to simply trust the process. Not to only just trust the process but to trust God's process. It is extremely easy to be pulled and tugged in directions that seem to be best; but truth is, only being led by God will yield the greatest results. I cannot tell you the amount of times, throughout this year God has led me down pathways that seemed, in the beginning, completely useless or counterproductive. Regardless, those time always yielded "full circle" moments that always happened quicker than quick.  I was able to see how powerful and intentional God is. I was able to see that His most perfect will manifesting is dependent upon of my surrender. This year also produced more tears than usual, much fight, revelation, insight, moments of weakness and then God's perfect strength. If you have yet to come up with a word for my 2019 yet, let me help you: BOOTCAMP! The year has indeed been beautifully challenging.

Another valuable lesson I learned this year was to trust who God made me to be/learn to see myself the way He sees me, specifically pertaining to my career. I am just one year out of college and the amount of networking, exposure, opportunities and connections I have stepped into was just plain ole WILD!!!, the highlight being, guesting at Collage Dance Collective. The way CDC changed my life is overwhelmingly refreshing, and indicative of the large amount of awesome that is to come.

Speaking of to come, I *jazz walk* into a brand new decade with my head held high. Expectations are through the sky and my dependency on Christ Jesus will be there every step of the way. Goodbye 2019. Hello, BRAND NEW DIMENSION!!!!!!!!!!

Year 2020 is the year of the impossible, my BREAKOUT year, ALL NEW EVERYTHING year. Thank you Jesus.! <3

Well, Would You Look At That

I used to think that in order for me to "make it" in the dance world I had to do certain things, go certain places, and look a certain way. It always seemed like this unspoken obvious fact; that if you did not do this or that, go here or there, look this specific way, you either weren't a dancer or would not be a dancer. I can look back now and see how my budding passion for dance was almost snatched right from under me due to the ridiculous pressures of high school.

The dancer with the heart, enthusiasm and vibrant daydreams of her future was who I was. Sure, I could picture myself of big stages, doing the most incredible things and being most beautiful because my heart was there. It was just that when it came to execution or looking in the mirror, I only saw this faux-confident version of who I really wanted to become. So, what really happened? I became lost in my crowd of friends and what they were doing or not doing and honestly lost sight of me. Basically, your girl became a follower. It is so wild to even think about because today, I am the complete opposite. During the high school years of my life, there were a few things that happened and could have easily deterred my dreams of becoming a world-renowned dance artist. Sure, I have endured the bits of discouragement from teachers, feelings of inferiority due to not being able to go to the summer intensives my friends attended, isolation due to knowing deep down that I was different from those I surrounded myself with and the occasional hurts from being called out because a certain teacher saw in me what I could not fully see in myself. Much of what I experienced was designed to "stunt my growth" so to speak, or even break me completely. I am so glad God held me.

Fast forward, it is quite hilarious how through all of that and more, the Lord always maneuvered in a way that protected my hearts' deepest desires. After all, with dreams as large as mine, there was going to have to be some fighting, kicking, travailing and trailblazing! Eventually (college), I got to the point where I began morphing into who God would need me to be for who He has called me to be. And surprise, surprise, I actually hate being like anyone else. I purposely do things opposite of the crowd (most times it is my natural judgment [the way God created me] that leads me to choices). To date, my resume/ how it came about, is actually the opposite of one who is successful in the dance world (and still growing), and I absolutely DO NOT like looking like other dancers. I am also not a fan of trying to "look the part" My focus has grown into being the part since authenticity is the truth and it sustains. It can never be duplicated. Gratefully, while molding me on this journey, the Lord showed me who Trinity is as an artist, down to the clothing, and is still revealing that to me. He is sort of clutch like that; always doing 2278292002 things at once.

Anyway, this post was sort of a patchwork of reflection. As always, I pray this encourages you. I look forward to the many other adventures this life will take me on because in all honesty...

She was born to dance.

Decisions, Decisions...

Sometimes you have to do the hard things in order to lay hold of the best things. You may be wondering, "What exactly is the best thing for me?". We can often make the mistake of equating any form of success, to destiny or purpose. However, I have learned that while a good thing brings good things, and even good feelings, a good thing does not always mean a "God thing". The very best decisions we make in life will always be the decisions that are "God-approved" and often "Man-confused". Towards the end of my collegiate years, I can remember having to make some decisions that some people did not understand. It was a bit tough, ignoring the inevitable "tug" of many, many opinions especially when you are getting established. Oh yea, if you don't know, I devoted my college years to the craft of dance and am now a professional dancer. So, yes! opinions!!!!!! There seemed like so many of them. I had to, however, go with the BEST—God's approval. So far, His judgment has not led me wrong (are you surprised?). I am in awe at the trajectory of my life and career, since about two days post-grad (lol! that is an accurate count). And, in typical "God-fashion", I am not surprised that more recently, I had to make another tough decision.

A little under a month ago, I was headed from one state to another, to dance in a ballet. Since I knew that I would be in town for a bit, I decided to stay in class (class=IMPORTANT). After one class the director (separate from the original reason I came to this state) made his interest in me, for his company's upcoming production, clear. Almost immediately I knew that I wanted to participate because I would be dancing in the meantime. Fast-forward, I told the director "yes" but with growing reservations as the days went by. As it would turn out, the atmosphere was rigid, at times, I felt belittled because I am black (that feeling was being projected onto me from some of my counter-parts), my dance partner was not supportive or concerned about our process and my growing suspicions had been consistent. Okay! that may have been a lot to take in but I want to paint the clearest picture, possible. In the midst of all of that, I was informed that I would not be compensated. I spoke with the director in candid concern and then was offered very little monetary compensation for a multi-city show, including rehearsals in and out of the theatre, and travel. Before I made my final decision (after two days of official rehearsal), I was challenged internally to not only stand up for myself but also to fight for the artist I have become. Confrontation is not easy for everyone and sometimes we would rather stay in an undesirable situation than to make clear our needs or simply move on. Boldly, I did both.

Coming to that conclusion was not been easy for me at all but making that tough decision lifted a weight off of my shoulders, preserved my career, made way for "God Opportunities and made me my own hero.


**In my previous post, I discussed the importance of the black dance community and that blog was inspired by this same situation. Give it a read!

Dancing Black

I want to talk about the importance of black dance community. The art of dance is so beautifully crafted. It creates vulnerability and a sense of belonging. Speaking from a personal standpoint,  when I dance, there is this feeling of completeness. It is as if every part of me has come together, creating the fullness of who I was truly created to be. Dance, however, is also hard. Hard on the body, sometimes the mind and other times, your perspective. Much of my journey, up until last month, had caused my perspective of self to deprecate.

I had been in so many atmospheres, all vastly different, in a five-month span—somehow they all caused me to question my validity as an artist. Did I really have a space in this world of dance? Would I ever be taken seriously? Will I ever really become the artist I’ve always (literally) daydreamed about? Some places and situations were overwhelmingly arrogant and demeaning—others, racially charged (which was a bit much for me swallow when I came face to face with so much of it at once). There were genuine moments of struggle and those would be the times I gleaned from historical knowledge of Alvin Ailey, Janet Collins, Arthur Mitchell, Delores Brown, Raven Wilkinson...

Hope came alive as I would envision and think on those legendary black bodies and the shoulders I am now standing on. There were times I thought to myself, “If they can do it, so can I”. It was not until October 2019 that I witnessed a true and authentic “black bodies experience”; I’ll call it. Last month I was granted the incredible opportunity to Guest with Memphis’ Collage Dance Collective (I will spare you from all details because this blog will NEVER end. Lol) and it CHANGED MY LIFE. That sounds dramatic, right? Good! It was that dramatic!!! I now had a personal experience and living support system alongside the dance greats we know and love. For the first time, I felt comforted, safe, cared for and empowered. The black dance community is a force because a systematic dance world forced (and continues to, in some fashion) us into exclusivity. That made us huddle together and do what we know we could because our eyes and hearts were set on a goal, dream, vision. The black dance community is no stranger to isolation or bias opinion. Worn with pride and understanding and are the miscalculated rejections, along with strength, honor, and perseverance. The question of our competence and the love/hate relationship with our bodies and, because it doesn't quite add up with our abilities (according to some), is just one more reason why the black dance community is strength and refuge. Now, my understanding is deeper.

I will say, from the legends to Collage Dance Collective, the black dance community embraces and equips. Now, when I am in those rigid atmospheres, I can think on Lauren Anderson, Milton Myers, Paunika Jones, Kevin Thomas, and charge on...

"Forreal God? You Gon' Do It Like That?"

Ya'll! When I looked at the stats for all of the posts I've made thus far, I must admit that I was a little ashamed— the last I spoke with you guys was in January. LOL! I really do have plans of doing better but honestly, whenever I do write, it isn't "willy nilly". Sometimes God nudges me to open the computer. Other times He pops a topic in mind. While everything you've read is super passionate to me, and usually structural in presentation, this post will be a little different. "Here's to story time!!!!" Although different, this too, is intentional. Allow me to preface the "meat" of this post by saying this: God wastes NOTHING! (it's deep already. haha!) and some of the worst experiences you face while climbing your destiny ladder, if you allow it (like I always say) will be the genesis required for you to effectively occupy your calling, through excellence, bravery, confidence, stealth, dominion, integrity, assurance and command. Do the tough things sting? Absolutely? Will you feel like throwing in the towel? 'Better believe it! However, you can rest easy after you have been through the fire, you will LITERALLY (oooww, yall drippinnnn') come out as GOLD.

     Sooooooooo, in March of 2017, myself and my partner Brandon (Quick S/O. Hey love.) were making our way to the American College Dance Festival (ACDF) for the third year. It was sort of wild because when we first attended the conference, the acronym was ACDFA, American College Dance Festival Association and now I believe it has been shortened again. Just a quick fun fact. Anyway, Brandon and I were on our way to the festival and we were both excited because these types of things are always a breath of fresh air. During this particular conference, you meet and reconnect with dance students all across the region. We take classes together, attend dance shows, network and eat... the most important part. What made that year's attendance highly anticipated is that Brandon and I would be dancing our pas de deux section from a ballet choreographed by James Atkinson, Purple Rain. Not only would I be dancing en pointe (something not seen at the conference), but this was a ballet number. NO ONE PERFORMS A BALLET PIECE AT ACDA. By the time we began rehearsals for the conference we had already performed this work during the run of the BFA Fall Concert. It was nothing new! But, oddly enough (or strategically enough) there was a moment during preparation when things blew up and shut down. All of a sudden weight distribution was off, trust had broken down, partnering was not seamless and the attempts to mend the entire situation deemed itself useless. Guys, at this point I was completely over the piece. I no longer cared to present this beautiful work but became satisfied with simply attending the conference. WHAT WAS GOING ON????  Fast forward to Brandon and I not seeing eye-to-eye and basically attempting to give up— our professor had to talk sense into us.

I wanted so badly to accept his words and allow them to wash away all nervousness and fear but I felt crippled by the thoughts of all that would (it's so crazy how we can count ourselves out before we even get in the game) go wrong and the mindset that I was not good enough. Somehow my attempt to ignore the painful feelings had worked long enough to get me to the next step: Rehearsal on site. Around day 2 of he conference our professor set up a rehearsal and guys, I had a nervous break down, anxiety attack or something. That thing was spiritual. At that point, I felt completely lost! Growing up in dance, and even at this point in my collegiate journey, I was never the hopeless type. Even when I knew I didn't have as much pointe training as other girls, I would always stand tall. Most times, honestly, I would fake it until I could make it (that groomed me as well). That was not the case when it was time to rehearse. I remember walking out of the main building and just walking aimlessly on campus. At some point I sat down. Looking back, God really poured into me because I was at a lost for words, confidence and passion, to say the least.

  It is important to note that before we even hit the stage, I could have sank into the pressure of the matter. Sometimes, unknowingly, we can throw in the towel when God is trying to stretch us. Some things are imperative to feel and experience because without them, where is the authority and power? Like the ending of the darkest hour, the sun peaks through the horizon. Here is my thought on that statement. There are stages to nighttime. Sometimes you actively see the sun going down and sometimes you look up and it's dark. While the darkness may alter the way you move, it does not paralyze you. We watch television, scroll IG, maybe cook something; but our worlds do not come to a hault when darkness falls (I feel this). After doing all you feel like doing or all you can do, you began to prepare for rest. Sometimes we don't sleep as great as we would like and other times it feels like the best thing ever. One thing we can count on, no matter our "dark experience", is that we will soon see the sun again.

Much like the sun that rises with newness of mercies, and a clean slate, moments before it was time for Brandon and I to hit the stage, we tightly embraced. We loved on one another and we knew that dawn broke, that what we were about to do would be nothing short of historical.

History in the Making

Happy February!!!! How were we just basking in the "It's finally 2019" glow and now it's February? Like how? 2020 is right around the corner. Ya'll ready? Lol! What are you most looking forward to, this month? V-day? Ailey on tour? BHM?  I know I am especially excited to be catching a noted and beloved celebration from its very first day. Happy Black History Month!!!! While I am usually blogging about topics that are helpful and encouraging, today I had the idea of doing something a little different. I would like to shout out the individuals who have contributed to my blossoming journey as a dance artist, thus far.

Welcome to my world- black; making history.

1. Luctricia Welters, one of my greatest mentors, has been my director, teacher and dance instructor. What hasn't she taught me? When I couldn't see any potential in myself, she knew all along. Grooming me to be a strong, black woman in the field of dance was ingrained in me before I could comprehend the importance of realizing, of owning "who I am and whose I am"

2. Michael Medcalf was the director of my undergraduate dance program. The linger of his thoughtful and direct nature caused me to confront my crippling fear of greatness.

3. Davalois Fearon showed me the importance of sharing my unique story and that I can thrive and even making history in the face of adversity.

4. James Atkinson protected my growth at a highly critical and important time in my dance development. Under his leadership I was able to gain essential dance and life lessons that forced me to rise to the demand of my potential and to develop thick skin

5. Billy and Bobby McClain inspired me from day one. They ignited in me the passion and boldness of loving and celebrating who I am. Expressing that through my art and being unapologetic is a very important aspect I gained from these two amazing men.

6. Njeri Rutherford taught me how to stand my ground without having to say much- A meek spirit. Stepping into my passion without fear or reservations, just toting the mere fact of loving what I was blessed to do. She taught me.

7. Camille A. Brown taught me that the sky is the limit. True and honest work will always go before me. My gift will make room for me a put me before great men.

8. Delores Brown helped me to understand the strength of knowing where I belong and standing in that truth. Not to lay by just because others may cause opposition but to know, where I want to be, I deserve to be!

9. Before I could fully comprehend the gravity of dance longevity, Linda Celeste-Sims taught me the importance of body maintenance, the regal essence of dance and  dance excellence, no matter the genre.

10. When confrontation played on my personal insecurities, Whitley Green encouraged me to grow in self-forgiveness and allowance. She introduced me to some strong facts. My favorite being, "You can be all of that".

11. Raven Wilkinson helped me to realize the truth beneath a true and captivating artist. She gave me hope during a time when I was not sure what my dance future would look like.

12. Nena Gilreath taught me that there is always more to give and that there is always a higher level to reach. Quitting is never an option, excuses do not exist and excellence is the only way I should operate.

13. Waverly Lucas taught me that I am stronger than I had been believing, there's nothing to it but to do it and that ballet is a complete investment of mind and body. One last thing, I simply need to trust and embrace.

14. When I wanted to look for reasons why I couldn't step up and take a leap to into greatness, Karla Tyson taught me to always show up, be a leader and to smile during the entire process.

15. Lydia Abarca-Mitchell taught me to always dig deep for the essence of ballet. She also helped me to connect the legacy of Mr. Mitchell to work ethic and stage presence.

16. Dale Shields taught me to trust in my abilities and to always dance through my entire body.

17. Finis Jhung taught me the importance of dance from a science standpoint. To be precise and deliberate are some things I learned from him.

18. Edward Vilella taught me about the intricacies of ballet training and how it can strengthen from the bottom to the top.

19.  Misty Copeland taught me that pace is not indicative of success and reach. She also showed me the beauty and freshness of humility.

20. Stephen Simien showed me how to be bold, commanding and how to take ownership on and off stage.

21. Rosie Herrera taught me the importance and power of being wildly creative and thriving in more then one genre of dance. She taught me that anything can be beautiful and enjoyable for the audience when you are sincere and intentional.

22. Kavin Grant taught me that I can do anything with belief!

23. Robert Garland helped me to see that even in the midst of perceived defeat, I can dig deep and appreciate what I posses and all that I have to give.

24. Sandra Fortune-Green showed me that being direct is effective and that when you come into a room wearing all black, its OVER! (lol.. BIG FACTS)

25. Royce Zackery taught me that beside being an artist, is the important reality of professionalism and accountability.

24. Deshonna Pepper-Robinson taught me that I can be strong. I am strong.

25. Cleo Parker-Robinson taught me that I can embrace being a ballerina, but that I am more than that alone.


As more come to mind, I will add to this post. Thinking of everyone I have been influenced by, in one sitting has been a bit taxing but it is important to be noted. After all, our history needs to be preserved and shared. I am black, making history... the story continues...

Great Days, Off Days...

What I'd like to talk about today is something that may not be talked about enough. Depending on your thought processing and perspective, you may take time to acknowledge when you aren't feeling your strongest, to capitalize on it, or you give it so much attention, leaving space for doubt. I am in no way an advocate for succumbing to the pressures and occasional fatigue that comes with the lifestyle of a dance artist, but I am proposing the benefits of acknowledging our "not-so-perfect" days.

     This entire week for me has been filled with ballet classes and rehearsals. There's something about knowing who God called you to be, embracing that and taking that confidence into the very thing He called you to. It changes the game! This entire week has been an amazing one for me because I decided to live in each moment. Y'all know how that is, right? But hear me now. Thursday came around and your girl was feeling the strategic remnants of the hard work I'd put in Monday through Wednesday. (You know, when you were Davalois Fearon on Monday and by Wednesday you'd just taken your first ever dance class!!) I'm not bragging, just trying to paint a picture. We can work really hard for the things we want to achieve and it can be smooth sailing until we meet the inevitable "body feels" that comes with the rigor of dance. So Thursday, yes, let me tell y'all how I had about three "brain farts" and the entire time my balance was not as perched as I would've liked. To top that off, during my solo run thru I did not feel strong internally. You know when you have just finished dancing the kids down (haha. totally not kidding!!!) and all of the energy you needed was there, and you're good?. I was the opposite. From class to rehearsal (dancing full out), I felt that accumulation of "whew I'm tired" and boy did it hit. So here is my point. After my solo the room filled with an inviting silence- the delicate applause of the (rehearsal) audience swarmed in. I thought to myself "Wow! I really didn't feel my strongest and this didn't feel the best but it was effective"

From class that morning to the moments I felt insecure during my solo, I could have given into those pressures and things could've gone significantly left. Instead of succumbing I chose to acknowledge the state my body was in and made the decision to benefit from it. There were times when I would allow the natural progression and workings of dance to defeat me. If I made a mistake, I wasn't competent enough. If I was unable to hold a balance, I would never be able to execute. It took me a little while to grasp this concept: off days can be more productive and fulfilling than the day's we're on but only if we take advantage of them. Don't throw yourself a pity party when you aren't as amazing as you were the day before (This has nothing to do with active consistency [ need that] but has everything to do with owning your moments). Acknowledgment will only be beneficial if you allow yourself to grow from it and be strengthened by it.

The Beginning of a Conversation...

Dance is not about finding the latest "fad" and following it. Searching for a mold to squeeze into, with the hopes of "looking the part" isn't it, either.

     I can remember my younger dance days being guided by a thought process that led me to believe, how I looked outwardly was more important than the essence of why we were being trained. It wasn't until my college years- I realized the art of dance, at its truest and most pure, is an inward exploration that is expressive and progressively developed when you possess undying passion and integrity. Like any other art form, sport, or endeavor, each day will not be spectacular. You won't always feel productive, your very best or "on your leg". There is always something to work towards, to learn. However, an overly-presented outward look will never be able to substitute the passion that develops integrity, that drives excellence at any cost, even when all eyes are not on you.

There is this weird thing that has been happening in the dance world for years but has bubbled over with obsession in the past few months. I remember being a middle school dance student at Parkway Middle School of the Arts and being introduced to the extensive legacy of Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre and Linda Celeste Sims. Yes! Mrs. Sims was plastered all across my agenda (that rings relevant even today since AAADT is completely timeless). During that time I was exposed to the royalty and reverence of dance. To me, that is what mattered. That drew me closer to dance way before I would dive into its education and core, historical values for myself. One upon a time, to see a dancer was to see kings and queens. To see dance was to see this rarity that you dreamed of and wanted to work for and connect to because in order to do it well; to do it with meaning you had to dig deep. "Not just anyone can dance!". Reminiscing on my early encounters with this passion, I image that statement accompanying my thoughts.

We are in a time where the emphasis of dance art in being placed on how many cool photo shoots we can do, how high we can throw up our legs, the things we can do to appear dedicated to this craft, and  how many times we can spread to social media's masses that we are working so hard to attain meaningless perfection. Don't get me wrong, never-ending lines, the highly anticipated adage developpe, unexpected balancing and perched pirouettes are amazing. In fact, they are the cherry on top but only when our goal is to share rather than to prove and be approved. Superficial dance will never be the art's truth because dance is to be felt and experienced. Dance has the potential to be healing, enlightening, encouraging and should be personable. It just seems that today, most of the goals are to be proficient instead of effective.

There are so many great trailblazers who have gone before us. They left plenty to feast off of. Dance has to be brought back to the art of dance.

IT'S 2019!!!!!

So here's the absolute truth. I stopped uploading blogs for a few weeks because within days notice I had to be on a plane to Atlanta, GA. Knowing that I would not have this computer with me (I try my best to stuff the world, not exceeding 50 lbs, in my suitcases), I made the decision to begin fresh in the new year. I am so grateful and excited to be writing this. We have so much to discuss but to avoid this post reflecting the whirlwind (meaning that in a positive way) of my last 2 months of 2018, we can discuss certain things. Since I began blogging I have tried my best to glue each posts' concept with a theme we can all relate to. This one; you can either Rise or Retreat.

About this days notice to be in ATL that I mentioned earlier; Chiiiile (my SarahJakesRoberts Voice) I took off to do work for Nutcracker Season! This was not your typical Clara and Sugar Plum fairy tale, but a little Brown Sugar and Wild Flower dreamland. Rehearsing, dancing, engaging and living with Ballethnic Dance Company had the potential to be a bit scary but was truly life changing. Hear me out! Have ya'll ever prayed for your dreams to manifest? Without any reservations besides wanting your heart's desires to blossom before your eyes? I believe we have all been there. I talk to God alot about my dreams and I have been blessed with opportunities that would, in my opinion, blow some of your minds but this one had me like "But God, hol' up real quick. This is alot". In the span of three weeks I flew to Atlanta, did Thanksgiving back in South Florida, flew back to Atlanta, learned choreography for Snow, Arabian, some party scene (didn't end up doing that except in rehearsals. lol), and performed before we actually hit the first theatre. Talk about whirlwind!!

This opportunity was the beginning of a long-waited dream so why was I  hesitant and reserved? I dug deep down and just got real with myself and with God. I didn't feel worthy or strong enough to wear such a heavy crown. I love everything about what I do. I love everything about ballet. But everything was happening so fast, and happening even faster was the demand for me to choose my stance. "You can either Rise or Retreat". Mantles re placed before us to thrust, push, strengthen, accelerate and so much more. I felt every single motion. It's like this: you prepare and you practice. Prepare and practice some more. When that opportunity comes knocking, you owe it to God, yourself, and every single person whose life is depending on your gift, to RISE! Never force yourself into believing that you are not capable or deserving. Wherever God places you, He needs you (that'll preach!!! I'm just saying). There are so many reasons why I love Ballethnic and it would literally take all night to write it out but Nena Gilreath, Wavery Lucas, Lydia Mitchell (Abarca) Dale Shields... God sends. Each of these legends snatched my life and my body. My love and hope for the dreams that I've had since high school, were revived and clarified. Just when I thought I had reached my optimum level, BOOM, Waverly taught company class, (lololol. mannn, one day my leg turned out an extra 4 degrees, not lying) but seriously, I suddenly grabbed a hold of this permission I never knew existed. I was able to blossom and focus on me. Not being the one everyone looks up to, is inspired by, is coming to for questions, (all of which I am thankful for and humbled by) but the girl who can clearly see the best image of herself and plow for it in a healthier manner. Next to all of the legends I previously mentioned, is someone who contributed to my growth when it mattered most, company member, Karla Tyson. When the coaches are now in the theatre seats and the directors are swamped in company business, things can change. It's like you're on your own but it cool because you've rehearsed 53638 times. This is different. When I questioned my capability of rising, I watched Karla. When I wanted to be a coke vendor (hilarious) instead of doing Arabian because I allowed my faith to waver, I watched Karla. A woman of many hats, grace, strength, leadership, stealth and beauty; I thank God for being in an environment that nurtured me and that housed someone as brilliant as her.

 Although this was a simplified version of my last two months of 2018, I pray you got the picture. Go after your dreams, walk in humility, be eager to unlearn and grow. You can't develop without being challenged. Even if it seems impossible or too tough, remember what you prayed for, believe you are strengthened for YOUR crown and know that when you see opportunity face to face you have just two options. Retreat or RISE.

ReCharge

Regaining Faith in the mission once you have already given up.

We're just going to hit the ground running on this! Thus far, this topic is my favorite because I am no stranger to weak moments or vulnerable thoughts. I can bet it isn't far fetched to say that everyone has gone through times when dreams become foggy, the motivation for "turning over a new leaf" becomes saturated with peer pressure or your faith feels completely non existent. Great news, you are not alone!

Here is the thing, whenever you get to a place where you have given up, not only are you withholding yourself from reaching and discovering your GOD- GIVEN gifts/talents, but you are literally limiting the work of  an amazing destiny, lessons, and the overall life God has planned for you. One of my favorite scriptures (Hebrews 11:6) says that "..without faith it is impossible to please God...". Hebrews 10:35 tells us "[not to] throw away [our] confident trust in the Lord...patient endurance is all you need...Then you will receive ALL that He has promised" Now y'all, straight out of the gate I had to bring the Lord into this thing because whether you want to believe it or not, JESUS IS the source of all TRUE success and Longevity. The beginning to regaining your faith after you have already given up looks like a life with Jesus. Actually, there is no better time to turn to Him than when you have had enough and are feeling like you're down to nothing. 

 Psalm 125 says "Those who trust in the Lord are as secure as Mount Zion; (A whole mountain though? Yes, sis! Yes bro. A whole mountain. Sturdyyyy) they will not be defeated but will endure forever. Having trust in the Lord is the only way to ReCharge after you've thrown in the towel. To endure forever means that you, your dreams, that business plan, your new found salvation or even your relationships will remain in existence. So, the next time the going gets tough, you may bend but you surely won't break. Naaa, God doesn't get down like that.Will you be challenged, stretched, disciplined and more? Of course, you have to be! It's the only way to get you to the acceptable level so that you can occupy your path and destiny.

Right now, if there is something that you have given up on, I would like you to think on it. Really think about its significance, the affect it had on you before you decided to give up and why you gave up. Now, ask God if that thing is a part of the destiny he has for you.(Sometimes we can do things out of our own will, never consulting God and wonder why it isn't going well) I know this may seem like a long process, and it doesn't all happen overnight but is definitely worth it. When we give up it is because we have allowed doubt and fear to set in but trusting in the Lord will clear all of those foggy areas and most certainly give the boost needed to carry on.

So here is what we're going to do:
Get to know Jesus, Trust Him with our lives and watch our endurance grow, ask God what is His will for our lives and enjoy the recharging of a lifetime.

Tonight I am praying for your ability to fully trust and move into your destiny, never looking back to the old mind of defeat and never again giving up <3

They Helped You To Grow

If you're reading this I am sure you have probably been in all kinds of situations with all sorts of people. My favorite situations have been when I've encountered people who turn out to be the best to hang around, and are truly inspirational (Huge, huge shout out to my DanceTheYard, SideYard peeps! Y'all are a blessing!!). I'm sure you have had those experiences. On the other hand, I have been in those situations where I have had to interact with people who may not have been the most pleasing to my soul, lol! (C'mon y'all, we can be real here). Both groups of people lend themselves to teaching me, even if unbeknownst to them, valuable life lessons. However, the most undesirable situations, have not only taught me the best lessons but have set me on the path to becoming my best self.
Discomfort and undesirable can be painful but it's the only way you can grow.

Think about something for a second: when was the last time you did something well, or something went well for you? How did it make you feel? I'll share a personal thought. In 2014 I had a "sit down" with living legend and historic ballerina, Raven Wilkinson. I could not believe how effortless this came about and that it was actually happening. After that moment I took inventory of how I felt after leaving her. I was a bit more inspired, encouraged, and felt that I had reached the height of my dreams and life experiences. Now, think of a time when you didn't do something so well. Have you been in a situation with a person or people that made you want to pull your hair out? I've got a secret to tell. You only became frustrated, irritated, or felt like you couldn't catch a break in the situation because it was stretching you. You grew from that!

When interacting in tough situations or with "tough" people, it's actually the situation that, not the person that is challenging you. There's a scripture in the bible that tell us that "we [do not] wrestle against flesh and blood (people)... but against powers (spirits)..." That lets me know that I can, with God's help, learn to separate the person from the interaction. Of course there are some people we just cannot afford to be around, for many reasons, but ask God for help to differentiate. The next time you find yourself in an "oh Lord, this is way too much" situation, take inventory of how you feel and ask yourself "What could this be teaching me?". I had many of those thoughts this Summer. Man, it was really tough and some days were better than others but my discomfort grew me tremendously.

As you go throughout this week, whether you experience an inspiring situation with amazing people or a tough situation with people who seem to be less desirable, always remember that while the "feel good" situations keep you going, they aren't the cap for how far you're going in life or how much you will learn. It is in the discomfort that you will gain fresh perspectives, new skills, polished attitudes, endless inspiration and the tools to set you on that path to becoming your best self. Try looking at interactions with people (from either end) from a growth perspective. Favorable is great but the undesirable brings growth!