Well, Would You Look At That

I used to think that in order for me to "make it" in the dance world I had to do certain things, go certain places, and look a certain way. It always seemed like this unspoken obvious fact; that if you did not do this or that, go here or there, look this specific way, you either weren't a dancer or would not be a dancer. I can look back now and see how my budding passion for dance was almost snatched right from under me due to the ridiculous pressures of high school.

The dancer with the heart, enthusiasm and vibrant daydreams of her future was who I was. Sure, I could picture myself of big stages, doing the most incredible things and being most beautiful because my heart was there. It was just that when it came to execution or looking in the mirror, I only saw this faux-confident version of who I really wanted to become. So, what really happened? I became lost in my crowd of friends and what they were doing or not doing and honestly lost sight of me. Basically, your girl became a follower. It is so wild to even think about because today, I am the complete opposite. During the high school years of my life, there were a few things that happened and could have easily deterred my dreams of becoming a world-renowned dance artist. Sure, I have endured the bits of discouragement from teachers, feelings of inferiority due to not being able to go to the summer intensives my friends attended, isolation due to knowing deep down that I was different from those I surrounded myself with and the occasional hurts from being called out because a certain teacher saw in me what I could not fully see in myself. Much of what I experienced was designed to "stunt my growth" so to speak, or even break me completely. I am so glad God held me.

Fast forward, it is quite hilarious how through all of that and more, the Lord always maneuvered in a way that protected my hearts' deepest desires. After all, with dreams as large as mine, there was going to have to be some fighting, kicking, travailing and trailblazing! Eventually (college), I got to the point where I began morphing into who God would need me to be for who He has called me to be. And surprise, surprise, I actually hate being like anyone else. I purposely do things opposite of the crowd (most times it is my natural judgment [the way God created me] that leads me to choices). To date, my resume/ how it came about, is actually the opposite of one who is successful in the dance world (and still growing), and I absolutely DO NOT like looking like other dancers. I am also not a fan of trying to "look the part" My focus has grown into being the part since authenticity is the truth and it sustains. It can never be duplicated. Gratefully, while molding me on this journey, the Lord showed me who Trinity is as an artist, down to the clothing, and is still revealing that to me. He is sort of clutch like that; always doing 2278292002 things at once.

Anyway, this post was sort of a patchwork of reflection. As always, I pray this encourages you. I look forward to the many other adventures this life will take me on because in all honesty...

She was born to dance.