40 Days of Glory

 At the top of the year during 21 Days of fasting and prayer I did not realize I was signing up to have my life radically changed. I followed the leading of The Lord into prayer and fasting through the ministry of Revival Today Church. At this point I feel like a broken record, getting ready to say the same thing for the 5th or 6th time. I am extremely grateful for my Pastors, Jonathan and Adalis Shuttlesworth. Surely, saying "Yes" to The Lord yields blessings that will out weight your life, alone.

Here we are at the closing of 40 Days of Glory. Forty consecutive days of church services that have left me completely in love with Jesus Christ. Sunday through Tuesday (Saturdays off) we have had prayer service in the afternoon, an evening service and and two services on Sundays. The most mind blowing thing of this entire immersion is that I am not full. Have you heard people use the phrase "I am so full" after a powerful church service? Well, I am more so stretched. My capacity to live in the fullness of the power of God through His word and by my words has increased drastically. I can digest more Word than ever in my life. I have enforced more scripture that I ever have in my life. I have gained great understanding through the spirit of revelation more than I ever have in my life. As we approach day 40 of 40 Days of Glory I am amazed at how greatly The Lord has moved on our behalf. Where have the days gone? I don't want this to end. Right now The Holy Spirit is bringing to me the scripture that says "For better is one day in Your courts than a thousand else where...". My response? Surely.

During these 40 days of meetings I have seen and heard of many signs and wonders. Miracles and  healings were a staple. Allow me to pause here and express something that means so much to me. I once thought "how can I possibly know I have been touched by God if I don't need a healing miracle?". There are some people who had been struck by really bad things. That wasn't my story. Although I came to services with things I wanted God to heal (I have received through faith and prayer of agreement with faith) there were no big issues. At some services I'd get thoughts that'd say if something I was believing for hadn't changed then like the people I watched get healed during services then maybe it wasn't that important or that it wouldn't happen for me.

This takes me to the greatest truth I've come to know during 40 Days of Glory. Jesus loves me. When prayer would go forth and we'd be told to do something we couldn't do prior, I didn't have anything to really move or test out because nothing that major was wrong with me. After about the third time of hearing that I just began to thank God for other people's healings and activated my faith for the things I desired from The Lord. One day I finally made up in my mind that The Lord will answer my petition to prayer simply because He loves me. What a concept, right? I am thankful to be healthy and sane and God doesn't need for me to oppressed for Him to show up for me. There was something for me in every single meeting, day and night because I had come to realize the fullness of God's love for me. There is still more.  Proverbs 4:18 says "The path of the righteous is like the morning sun (wow), shining brighter till the full light of day." Even if I was oppressed with something from the devil, the full extent of God's goodness would not stop at Him healing me. There is a deeper. There is a higher and that is what I experienced and learned during 40 Days of Glory. There are no barriers with the anointing if you have the faith to receive. If you have the faith to receive from God not even a MacBook screen can stop the flow of His spirit. 

During this time The Lord also began talking to me about faith. It was during our Faith Week. Before being illuminated by The Word of God I had not realized that my faith was being misplaced. I now understand the law that governs my life to see the fullness of the inheritance. True Bible faith is full conviction in God's Word. My life has been elevated y'all! There is nothing else in this world I would have chosen over 40 days in the presence of God. 

I sacrificed and let go of going to hang out, traveling with my dream job and being offered the opportunity to perform at The Kennedy Center. About three weeks in I knew that had I done any of those things the way I wanted they would have knocked my focus. These past 39 days were intense for me. I have been touched by God over and over again. I have been trained to cultivate an atmosphere for the presence of God to rest wherever I am. My prayer life and language has increased, the mysteries of the Bible no longer sound like Mandarin Chinese (me being biologically American) and I have developed a pure love for The Word of God and things of God. How can I ever fail? I won't! These are just some things 40 Days of glory have given me. My family (who has not been in the meetings) have also received healings but I'm not gonna preach y'all. haha. 

One day I am going to tell my children of the great and powerful 6 weeks that took place in Pittsburgh, PA. On day 20 Pastor Jonathan said "The quality of your life will be largely determined by the hands laid on your head". Since being led to join RTC I have been prayed for by and imparted into (through the laying on of hands) by Pastor Jonathan, Pastor Kofi and Evangelist Tiff Shuttlesworth. I cannot wait to tell my children about the fiery times of year 2022. Indeed the fire will not go out but this needs to be remembered! 

To my Pastor, Jonathan Shuttlesworth, thank you for all of the things. You say so many impactful things in one sitting I cannot pick one out, minus the jokes, I keep a joke ready. To Pastor Kofi, thank you for teaching me and being exemplary in prayer and for teaching that "I overwhelm every challenge...I am an overcomer". Thank you to Jesse Duplantis for teaching me to doubt my doubts. That is so rich and I actually do it. Thank you to Dr. James Marocco for laying out the laws of defilement. That was so powerful and changed my intentionality with interactions and environments. To Pastor Augustine, thank you for teaching me that "You don't need to go through something so sad in order to preach the goodness of Jesus". To Preacher Jay thank you for exclaiming that the name of Jesus is "private property of The Church" and how we are are members of His body, flesh, and bones. You drove home the point that Jesus replicated Himself in The Church and that there is no weakness in Him therefore there is no weakness in me. *shouts*! To my favorite Evangelist, Pastor Adalis, thank you for everything. I can easily quote you but I will suffice it to say everything you preach and the way you preach it, sticks! You are a shining example of the woman I am blooming into. You are a spiritual woman of substance, great jokes, personality and a cute foot, ALWAYS! Last but certainly not least, Evangelist Tiff Shuttlesworth. I am beyond grateful I was able to hear you preach in person during the June Spiritual Emphasis Weekend. Having you close out 40 Days of glory with Bible Prophecy proved to be a goldmine. I am LITERALLY smarter because of your dedication and anointing. The other day on twitter someone tried challenging me on the rapture of The Church and I used the word "Scholarship". LOL. Who am I? 

Well, I am redeemed. I am a victor. I am the head and never the tail, above and never beneath, the lender and not the borrower. I am God's daughter. I am blessed. I am redeemed from the curse of the law. The favor of The Lord surrounds me as a shield. I am a sign and wonder in my generation. I walk in divine life, health and strength and I am forever changed because my Pastor obeyed the Lord by having 40 straight days of meetings. (p.s. Bishop Dag, I cannot wait to hear you tomorrow).

#40DaysofGlory

#AmericaShallbeSaved

#TheFireMustNeverGoOut

#LetTheTrailerBurn

#RedTacoSalsa

Consistency

 During my undergraduate years I made up my mind about my future career. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. With all of my heart I had made up my mind that all I would ever do would only revolve around and be along the path of what God has graced me to do. 

Perfectly enough, right now I am listening to my Pastor teach on "Consistency". The courage and focus to remain within the thing God has called me to do. That leads me to what I am about to say.

Last season I reluctantly had to sit out of my dance company's performance season. For now I will omit all of the details but in summation, my choice to sit out was as a result of following The leading of The Lord. During this past year there were a couple of instances I became tempted. I was tempted with the thought of veering away from the path God has set me on. In what way, you may ask? Mostly like me thinking of getting random, odd jobs. What's amazing is the one "odd" job I'd held during time away from my dance company was truly a means of provision. Imagine my surprise when I was literally, randomly fired without cause (LOL). It's funny now and it was funny then. Once I received that weird phone call of a random woman saying to me "you've been let go" I literally knew by The Spirit not only did I have nothing to worry about but God had approved that very random phone call. The funniest part was that I had worked earlier that same day and there was no inkling that that'd happen 🤣.

Here's the point of this piece. During that time away from the company and being randomly fired from a job (one that had nothing to do with my calling) The Lord set up a tailor-made connection and career opportunity for me. It happened effortlessly and seamlessly. Not only did this new venture replace my old provision (that IS A WORD) it also placed me in a unique hub within my industry. Fast forward to today. As I walked into the dance building and back to change for class I noticed a magazine subscription laying on one of the benches on the first floor. When I realized which magazine it was I had a moment with God. I could not contain my smile nor could I ignore the pieces God connected for me as I stood there in awe. Such a full-circle moment! The very place that forced me out subscribes to a magazine of a corporation God has placed me in. In that moment I was also comforted by God... how sweet.

"I'm changing levels"

The Magazine I saw

Me, at work this Summer for the same corporation

Different Hair In Ballet

 Sometimes when I scroll through insta I come across those posts that makes me think of everything dance has given me. From the raw and intrigued days at Parkway Middle, the deeply passionate days of undergrad, to today— the former days mixed with my greater understanding of what truly matters as an artists away from and on the stage. The two major subjects that have been bustling within social media, panel discussions and smaller group environments surround both equality and representation. I can easily dissect each of these but to narrow down for the sake of this piece I will tell you the subject of conversation that has left me with a clear understanding of both its beauty and place. 

Hair.

The more I develop in this passion of dance and gain clarity on where I see myself in its world, my stance of representation in the form of kinkier, more coily hair has blossomed. At one point in my life I assumed my hair could only be in a bun. Being that my love for dance began forming at the tender age of thirteen I assumed the only appropriate hairstyle for me was a slicked back bun. Do I love a slick back? ABSOLUTELY I DO! However, my hair can be classical ballet presentable in many ways than just that. Yes, your hair and my hair can both fit the mold and the "vibes".

Around 2020 I read posts that exclaimed the need for black ballet dancers to be able to wear our hair creatively and unrestricted. The overall theme of the various posts and articles were inclusion of black hair within ballet companies. At the surface it sounded alright but as I dug through explanations there was something deeper. Some conversations surrounding black hair seem to isolate black dancers in spaces they long to be accepted in. 

My thought is this:Yes! Our hair is different and we should not be excluded because of it, but that does not warrant hairstyles hat do not properly coincide with the aesthetic of classical ballet works. I, like many others, have been in situations where isolation has occurred due to the difference of my hair in comparison to my coworkers'. One day as I sat in the hallway watching a rehearsal a guest choreographer sat next to me and said "I did not choose you for this piece because you don' have long, flow-y hair". In that moment I was confused as to why she'd said that. Then, it stung a little. After that, I was okay. You know why? Because she was correct. My hair does not fall the way of the other dancers but the next time I can get me some cute, lightweight plaits that will allow for quick versatility!  The reality is, Ballet is just that genre that has a certain look. To be an artist that cares and respects your craft (words of advice from Sylvie Guillem's documentary) you must weight that fact. 

Here are a few ways my thoughts on black hair in ballet has evolved. As stated earlier, I once thought I could only wear a bun. Now, I have more styles to pull from after discovering that there are many ways to look "pulled". All styles may not be appropriate for all situations but their is "wiggle room". Last dance season I was the only black woman in my company. With most dancers wearing the cute top, flat buns or French twists, I at times felt that "it'd be great to be able to throw my hair up that way" but my hair doesn't fall that easily. So, I have a few creative ways to be aesthetically in line while staying true to myself. On the flip side, I have learned that having different hair is also never an excuse to not appropriately do my hair (I have seen that and it should never be an answer). Outside of my own hairstyles I have seen other black ballet artists rock their natural hair in a way that gave me so much more confidence!

Back in 2020 I took an online barre class with one of my favorite ballerinas, Katlyn Addison. She displayed  the mot incredible rotated legs I have ever seen. Her port de bra was crisp and her afro was out! That was the first time I saw a ballerina in an afro. It rocked my world! I think the vantage point I saw Katlyn from was one of integrity. Before that class I'd simply heard complaints about not being able to fully wear black hair in classical ballet spaces and the emphasis was placed on hairstyles more than the total artist. Why is wearing your hair any way you want to such a huge deal? is what I'd think reading certain things but when I saw Katlyn I simply saw a choice. Sometimes the volume of protest for black women in ballet can be overcome by cries that melt into exclusion when all anyone wants to do is be accepted. To do that, just be! That is what Katlyn taught me. You may not be able to go on stage dancing Juliet or Odette with Burgundy box braids or an afro but what does that matter when you love and respect your art. When you can and when it feels appropriate, go for it. As a black dancer you don't have to hide facets of yourself but everything doesn't always need to be on display to validate you being a black artist.

Today, Chyrstyn Fentroy posted a photo of herself on the way to teach Ballet, in her afro. She mentioned being asked if she was indeed teaching Classical Ballet because of her choice of hairstyle. Again, just be! That is what Chyrstyn was doing. After days and weeks of having your hair pulled back sometimes you want a break. While that should not cause people to second guess your abilities nor competence, we cannot help how others might perceive our hair differences. What matters most is your artistry and commitment to the work. Both Katlyn and Chrystyn are brilliant and strong principal ballerinas. It looks different when your stance is different. I have seen what I consider inappropriate hairstyles for work days and that would not be praised. The name of the game is being beautiful in your differences, respecting the craft you love and serving the work. 

Don't go anywhere looking crazy. Be presentable. "Show them how beautiful you are" (Arthur Mitchell). But don't make a habit of advocating for your hair more than you do, your work. Now, this isn't one of those "conversations" for those who may not have hair like us to chime in and try "understanding" us. This is for us. Not a piece of exclusion, but encouragement. Accept your difference amongst your coworkers and in your company. Love and respect your craft and dance on.

<3

Katlyn Addison, Ballet West Principal Artist (during ballet class) 

 Me, Trinity Cox, Columbia City Ballet Cort de Ballet Artist

Back After A Year & Some Months

 June 28-30.

My first week back in the building.

After a year and two months away from the studio I am preparing to be back in full swing!

In this piece I will be giving you all a quick overview of how those three days went for me. My goal is to document this entire experience. I believe we (The Church) are living in a time of massive and accelerated "Breakthroughs and Turnarounds"and I am a part of it!

I am currently on the phone with my friend and I said to him that sometimes we have to "till the ground". Being at this moment in time helps me understand that concept. The past 3 months have been exciting and new. From dancing as a guest artist and connecting with artist all across the entertainment industry, I never imagined that would be my reality after learning that I would have to miss what was to be my second season with my ballet company. Now, with God having had compressed the time, I am back! 

Going back into the building felt normal. You were probably expecting some dramatic and expressive sentence but it was just that. The part I was most excited about was being back in classes with my favorite teacher ever, Erin! She is AMAZING! It was not until after classes I had the realization that God is actually in the works of doing something extraordinary. I would be lying if I told you it'd be something I had never dreamed of because I am a BIG DREAMER. God is going to put extra, extra on it because he is God and He can certainly outperform my dreams. However, I won't be shocked because I have envisioned big things for my passion, calling and career for years! 

The most incredible part of this all is how God has kept my body. 

You know, you hear many "to-dos", "don'ts" and everything in between while navigating this industry but my experience has always been unconventional. I am very grateful to be in this position. What a time to be alive! 

 WOW!

Dancing In A Time Like This

(Originally published March 11, 2021) 

It's such a strange time. 

I never imagined having to dance through days like these. From internet panels to social media posts, the "name of the game" is survival. Whether it's companies working to translate their repertoire or theaters having to choose from housing artistic presentations or their doors remaining closed, mostly everyone seems to be in some sort of survival mode.

Me? 

When I think about dancing at a time like this I immediately recognize how blessed I truly am. Although my dancing, much like the majority, began at home, clutching a dining room chair, I have since then toured, danced in multiple theaters and moved to a completely new state. This entire transition has been exciting. There is a part, however, that has been less than thrilling. 

While the world of dance is experiencing a shift, and maybe even finding new breath in this climate, the subtle whiff of racial isolation stands strong. With all that has been taking place within the last year, I have recently found it necessary to say that I've never been one to "dig" into the racial disparity of the dance life. However, when confronted with issues, it has almost felt as a duty to experience, assess and handle each situation as they come. 

No.

Every situation does not warrant my response but every one of them was deserving of my fullest attention.   The questionable situations I have experienced within the past four months have heightened my awareness of the uneven playing field black women start off of on, in the dance world. I have become more insightful as I think about my part; "taking in" those tough moments so other black dancers who will follow in my footsteps can walk with their chests lifted and heads held high. 

While this is still a weird time for dance, it is a very real time for me. As a dancer, right now, I bask in the beauty of my passion, and the reality of my difference. While many are longing to get back to the camaraderie that is being within a company or even on projects together, I enter my workspace daily never feeling a part unless I barge my way in. While the world grasps for comfort in every waking word of their local news anchors, I go throughout my workspace sometimes having to swallow the words of others for the sake of Godliness (which is greatest) and my responsibility as a trailblazer. Thousands of people across the world feel as though life is passing them by as they sit home and reminisce about their favorite hangout. Most days, I spend the day dancing, pondering how none of the uncomfortable moments have to get me down because I am simply "jete-ing", by. There have been days where I've reminisced on the explored lives of Janet Collins, Delores Brown, Joan Myers Brown, Raven Wilkinson, Misty Copeland, and much like their audacious hope and legendary careers, I too will occupy many more spaces.

...And much like this unforeseen time, I will conquer the days by keeping my dreams socially distant before me, while my hands and heart remain "disinfectant" clean. 

It is such a strange time.

A real time.

A legendary time.