Essential Ways To Invest In You

Complacency will become a norm if you stop investing in YOU. That investment will look different for different people but there are a few I believe can creep in on us all.

Choosing to not play the comparison game is investing in you. Realizing and exploring places that require your attention and working on those things is investing in you. Not being afraid to retrain or taking time to learn properly is also investing in you!

Today I explored each of these scenarios in one setting. My point of this post is to exclaim the beauty of liberation in your pursuit of calling. My Pastor often says "What you don't confront, you'll never conquer". That could not be farthest from the truth. So, when it comes to not comparing myself to others, working on my art and confronting the fact that I had yet another "note" to implement (one that was extremely helpful and resides amongst other fine details that have slipped through the cracks of my training, having not started training in Ballet really until college) I experienced, for the first time in my career, today, total liberation! For years I had imprisoned myself by my own thoughts of defeat and inferiority. I created a deficit in my thought life because when discouraging days, discouraging teachers and less than perfect steps came to shake me, I opted in. I did not understand the importance of investing in me. The only way to understand that concept is to value where you are because of where you are going.

Because I know my Heavenly Father to be a masterful creator of destiny and makes a necessity of proper training grounds, where I have been and where I am areVITAL. As a child of God your path is not random but you HAVE TO make decisions. 

Today I could have chosen to ignore my correction and ignore my need for improvement under the guise of that same comparison or lack of attention (lack of care) but I am beyond excited to say that I chose correctly. Because of that I have been liberated. 

I am free to follow God. I am free to get in THE FLOW

Invest in You.

How Seasons Change

Autumn is undoubtedly my favorite time of the year. This morning as I passed a window displaying skinny branches and rust colored leaves I thought to myself how the leaves change colors before they fall. As it goes, during Autumn the place where a leaf stem connects to the tree, a special layer of cells forms during colder months for its protection but facilitates the leaf's departure. The season has begun to change. Whether from the weight of the leaf itself or a gust of wind, that layer of cells form and also invites new growth. The restrictive vessels of that layer of cells reduces liquid and nutrients. Soon, a new leaf will appear. I find it intresting that the colder months of Autumn, although casting aside prepared leaves, produces the beautiful colors of arguably one of the greatest seasons of the year. During colder months the production of chlorophyll, plants' means of food production, slows down or in some cases, stops. This causes the green pigments to no longer appear but the actual color of the leaf. Varieties of cold weather creates different pigments. Seasons change. It's worth it to examine your environment. Be intropective and again examine your environment. Your season may be changing. On your way, whilst transitioning, enjoy the vibrant colors and the beauty of your changes. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that continues to bear fruit, He [repeatedly] prunes, so that it will bear more fruit [even richer and finer fruit]. James 15:2 amp

You Will Embrace This New You!

Something wonderful happens once you recognize who you are and show up as that person in every situation. There are many people who receive their identities from various places and things. I however, have found who I am in Jesus Christ. One of the main things I enjoy about Jesus is that He is constant and constantly moving. Therefore, when I plug in with Him I place myself on a sure track of ascension, acceleration and upgrade. It is inevitable. Yesterday before getting my dance day started I was encouraged by passages of scriptture found in 2 Peter 2:9 and 2 Timothy 2:20-21. These verses hilighted that I am God's personal possession and because I choose daily to live by The Spirit, cleansing myself from dishonorable things, I have positioned myself to be used as a vessel of honor. Taking on this role ensures that I have also been prepared for every good work. My success(in this particular instance) is advantageous and is biblically aligned to be a result of my decision to live righteously. Nothing besides being called of God, chosen and prepared for evey good work qualifies me for what I do and am going to do. I present no assumption that includes laziness because I know that God Himself will command a blessing on the works of my hands. In every situation I can show up as who I truly am

. And who I am cannot be defined nor undefined by anyone or any challenge. Tried and true and built to last.

Why It Is Useful To Redfine What it is to Be A Black Dancer pt2

Taking pride in who you are in the world of dance also has an affect on younger, aspiring artists. This can be a positive or negative impact depending on how you carry yourself. What you stand for and believe is also pertinent to their growth. While not everyone asks to be role models you have to know that in pivotal moments of history people will look to those with loud voices. The year of 2020 brought out creativity and boldness in dancers all across the world. Some focused on reintroducing the longstanding topic of equity and inclusion, as well as racism within dance companies while others harnessed those topics, their concerns, and created their own spaces as a solution to the issues. There is something I feel is worth mentioning. I realize that most may not agree with this thought but if we can be honest, there is validity to it. In the midst of inspiring younger black dancers, espcially in a time as today, it is importnat to train the up and encourage them within the art first. At base level we should be training their minds to realize that nothing is too far out of their reach-- that they can accomplish great things and watch their dreams come true. When I began training in dance with actual technique classes I was in middle school. All the way through high school I experienced training with both white and black dancers. Throughout those years I only had two black full-time dance teachers. Although post high school I would experience the sting of looking different and hearing racially charged comments I am thabkful my black dance teachers did not steer our teachnique training with the "black dancer narrative". It is my belief that their choice to focus soley on our training is part of the reason I feel comfortale standing in any room today. I didn't get to that point instantly. There were more than a few moments I felt inferior because I lacked confidence in my ability to perform but I never wrestled with deficiets of being a black dancer. Those two black teachers gave me solid building blocks. I have seen things that suggest to young black dancers that their being black needs to be accomodated. The issue I have with this is that it can groom dancers to only be drawn to companies and spaces that are filled with black people. Because I have experienced, like many others, the difference in a room where you're the majority versus the minority I am not saying an all black or mostly black environment isn't comforting. I am saying however, that black dancers should not restrict themseves to majority-ruled rooms because of some disporportionate behaviors that do exisit and have been experienced. If the goal is to be recoognized and accepted overall how can that happen within our own dance groups. Sure we can celebrate eachothers but that is not an answer that will render solutions to the excalaims of there needin to be more equity, includion, visibility and representation in dance companies. It is impossible to make strides in spaces we exclude ourselves from. Young dancers need to know they can thrive in any environment and that not every person is looking to mishandle their talent and value. Some may read this and gather that I am mostly oblivious to some of the harsh realities of navigating the dance world as a black dancer. I am not. As an adult I have faced racially charged comments and pasive-aggressive behaviors but I made the decison to accept my beauty and thrive regardless of anyone's unfortunate opinions.

Why It Is Useful To Redfine What it is to Be A Black Dancer

It is time to redifine what it is and what it can actually look like to be a black dancer in 2022. I do not call it wrong for black directors, educators, choreographers to use their authority for black dancers in the creation process, especially since I have seen and experienced the disproportional casting of black and brown bodies in some spaces. Walk in that priveledge and authority, truthfully. Afterall, there are pros to certain people gaining positions of influence. To the opposite end of that thought, something that began in integrity and as a celebration of black dancers becomes more of a stumblig block to ourselves rather than a stepping stone when we only cycle the narrative of the struggles and grievences of black dancers, especially black women in ballet. Today, the victimhood of black dancers is disguised under advocacy and the famous statement "representation matters. Since 2020 I have seen, however, the backlash that is going painfully undetected because the truth is, you will not make progress or gain traction with your advocay while simutaneously isolating yourslef within the field you want to be accepted in. How are we constantly isolating oursleves and our people? by relentlessly broadcasting the woes of what it feels like to be a black dancer. It sounds as a cry of strenuous endurance in the field rather than the strength we work and pride ourselves on. Some of the hilighted points of the plea of the black dancer includes things that, on a larger scale have nothing to do with the art form moving forward beautifully. There are things that can be and should be simply looked at as preferences such as hair, tights or shoe color. For example, making a huge deal out of black women being able to wear their hair the way it is within ballet is something that falls into the category of respect for the craft as opposed to a lack of acceptance of the black woman. I have honestly thought to myself at times "Are you seriously wanting to wear chunky twists or two puffs for Swan Lake?". Some of these pleas are not racially charged at all but as they have morphed into the BLM movement and current blackness fad, no one is taking a step back to say "Perhaps we are not being pushed away as much as we are stepping away". Even for me, as a black dancer who has experienced forms of institutional racism in both dance and theater spaces I come to the conclusion that no one wants to deal with a person who focuses so much on negativity. Once we stepped into having to prove the validity of our artistic exsistence and relevence it is no longer a celebration of ourselves but it turns to isolation. Let's jump back to 2020. It was also the year I began virtual training with my new ballet company. Rolled into one with BLM on a new kick and various dancers bringing their distasteful company experiences to social media, I felt the awkward push for anyone who is not black to get on board with everything black at whatever cost. My very thought was the majority of black people gave this vibe that they wanted everyone who is not black to bow down to them. Even in my work place as a professional dancer I saw the effects of the BLM movement. Basically if they were'nt black it felt like they could not say or do anything without possibly making a wrong move. I am in no way condoning the isolation of any person or group due to skin color, race, background or phenotype (different from judging someone based off of the standards of the craft)but man, it was as if directors, choreographers, instructors could no longer push a vision or standards because "black is in!". This is not a knock at standing up for what is right (legitamate and integral initial equal opportunity for dancers) but a call to action for black dancers to change the current narrative and just be you-- in any company or space. My point is that this time can be one to redefine what it means to be a black dancer even while looking at historical truths and staring down the faces of those who just don't want to evolve from their archaic ways of thinking. When I think of the great dancers who blazed many trails before us, their intregity is what stands out. They were passionate, disciplined. They were audacious and they were bold! They created space for themelves because they were not welcomed in others. To me, it did not look like they were trying to prove "I can do this". A huge issue with the "black dance advocacy" today is the underlining "It needs to be Black" connotation that seems to be attatched. The lengends we love lived in much harsher times and went down in history. Why can't we take a pages from their books?

What Dancing Through a Pandemic Taught Me

Originally published on 3/11/21

It's such a strange time. I never imagined having to dance through days like these. From internet panels to social media posts, the "name of the game" is survival. Whether it's companies working to translate their repertoire or theaters having to choose from housing artistic presentations or their doors remaining closed, mostly everyone seems to be in some sort of survival mode. Me? When I think about dancing at a time like this I immediately recognize how blessed I truly am. Although my dancing, much like the majority, began at home, clutching a dining room chair, I have since then toured, danced in multiple theaters and moved to a completely new state. This entire transition has been exciting. There is a part, however, that has been less than thrilling. While the world of dance is experiencing a shift, and maybe even finding new breath in this climate, the subtle whiff of racial isolation stands strong. With all that has been taking place within the last year, I have recently found it necessary to say that I've never been one to "dig" into the racial disparity of the dance life. However, when confronted with issues, it has almost felt as a duty to experience, assess and handle each situation as they come. No. Every situation does not warrant my response but every one of them was deserving of my fullest attention. The questionable situations I have experienced within the past four months have heightened my awareness of the uneven playing field black women start off of on, in the dance world. I have become more insightful as I think about my part; "taking in" those tough moments so other black dancers who will follow in my footsteps can walk with their chests lifted and heads held high. While this is still a weird time for dance, it is a very real time for me. As a dancer, right now, I bask in the beauty of my passion, and the reality of my difference. While many are longing to get back to the camaraderie that is being within a company or even on projects together, I enter my workspace daily never feeling a part unless I barge my way in. While the world grasps for comfort in every waking word of their local news anchors, I go throughout my workspace sometimes having to swallow the words of others for the sake of Godliness (which is greatest) and my responsibility as a trailblazer. Thousands of people across the world feel as though life is passing them by as they sit home and reminisce about their favorite hangout. Most days, I spend the day dancing, pondering how none of the uncomfortable moments have to get me down because I am simply "jete-ing", by. There have been days where I've reminisced on the explored lives of Janet Collins, Delores Brown, Joan Myers Brown, Raven Wilkinson, Misty Copeland, and much like their audacious hope and legendary careers, I too will occupy many more spaces. ...And much like this unforeseen time, I will conquer the days by keeping my dreams socially distant before me, while my hands and heart remain "disinfectant" clean. It is such a strange time. A real time. A legendary time.

Why Not to Conform To What Dance Is Becoming

In order to perserve an art form you must first respect it. The beauties and ways of an artform are tried and true. What it looks like to remain truthful to your craft has been proven time and time again. Specifically regarding classical ballet, actions are being done to strip the art of its sustained regailty and standard. I know there are many converstions swirling the idea of innnovation within this long-standing form but truthfully, at best, what is happening is a deterioration of what it means to be a ballerina, dance a ballet and strive for top ranks within a ballet company. A lot of what social media notes as "breaking barriers" is actually the breaking of systems that is lowering the standards. Hair, race, skin color and facial features have been some of the headliners of the "fighting inequality in dance" chat. While I will never pretend to not see the reality of what many (including myself) have faced in dance companies with rigid opinions of the above topics, they are not an excuse to broadcast answers that demean the entire process of beginning, pursuing and engaging in a professinal dance career. Ballet overall has faced many scrutinies behind some who have chosen to abuse their power by isolating those with phynotpic differences. That is wrong. However, there are some things that should never have anything to do with having a ballet career. The shade of someone's skin, the texture of a person's hair or how a person lives their life. These have nothing to with having a ballet career because what does matter is your skillset, commitment to the art, growth, artistry, competence and teachability. When things that do not matter become the focal point, standards dwindle. 

Other things that have been blurring the focus of the integrity of classical ballet are more things that have absolutely nothing to do with the artform. Its impossible to advocate for something that you have no respect for and respecting your craft entails learning it, meeting the standards, working to maximize your abilities within its rules and standards and studying. When people made a fuss about Allen Iverson it was over things that had nothing to do with the game. When Raven Wilkinson was denied access to the same hotel as her company, it had nothing to do with the art. When Ray Lewis decided to forgo an offer from his dream school it wasn't because he was challenging the standard of the sport, He simply did not want to start behind another guy because he believed he was better than that (competence). These examples are a picture of how to maintain the integrity of what you claim to love. These people became legends. You don't break barriers by challenging systems that erect a standard. You rise in all of your authenticity. Challenging things like costuming, or wearing your hair however you want because you're black, or men in pointe shoes and men dancing womens roles are all signs of not having respect for the work. It also damages the road for those coming behind you. If anything goes then anyone can do it. If standards don't matter and neither does excelling in them, every player would have a statue in front of Colonial Life Arena. Maintaing the integrity of dance, ballet specifically, today, should be about rising to the occassion. Working to break a reaonable mold just to have something to say is a cop out. Do you respect what you do?

College Dance Training Can Actually Be Helpful

DURING UNDERGRAD I REMEMBER READING AN ARTICLE THAT HIGHLIGHTED THE CONS OF DANCERS WHO JOIN THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD AFTER UNDERGRADUATE DANCE STUDIES.THE MAIN IDEA SURROUNDED THE LACK OF EXPERIENCE AND INABILITY FOR DANCERS TO ADAPT TO THE LIFE OF A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST. UPON ENTERING MY COLLEGIATE DANCE PROGRAM, ALTHOUGH I WAS BRINGING A SOLID TECHNICAL FOUNDATION, UNDERSTANDING OF PROFESSIONALISM AND A RESPECT FOR MY CRAFT, MY GREATEST POSSESSION WAS MY UNDYING PASSION. THROUGHOUT COLLEGE I ISOLATED MYSELF WHEN I REALIZED THAT MY WORK ETHIC AND SERIOUSNESS CAUSED SOME CLASSMATES TO TREAT ME UNFAVORABLY. I EXPERIENCED BEING RIDICULED FOR MY FOCUS, INTENTIONALITY AND LEADERSHIP. ALTHOUGH THIS TREATMENT DID NOT COME FROM EVERYONE IT BECAME A DRIVING FORCE FOR ME TO CONTINUE PURSUING MY STUDIES WITH INTENSITY, FORETHOUGHT AND EXCELLENCE. SOME MOMENTS WERE TOUGHER THAN OTHERS BUT I KEPT MY EYES AHEAD. I REMAINED FOCUSED ON MY DREAMS. I KNEW WHAT I WANTED TO ACCOMPLISH IN MY CAREER AND DECIDED TO ALLOW MY TRAINING WITHIN THE DANCE PROGRAM AND ITS ACADEMIA TO WORK FOR ME. I KNOW BOTH THE PRESSURES AND EXCITEMENT THAT CAN AT TIMES BECOME A DETERRENT WHILE TRAINING TO BE A PROFESSIONAL DANCER IN A COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY SETTING. AT TIMES YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN CAMPUS FUN AND BUCKLING DOWN. FOR ME, THE TRAINING DID'NT STOP WHEN I LEFT THE STUDIO OR THE STAGE. I SUBMERGED MYSELF IN THE CRAFT AND KEPT NOT ONLY MY GOALS BEFORE ME BUT MY ACTIONS. I LEARNED TO CARRY MYSELF THE WAY I SAW MYSELF, BECOMING A REFLECTION OF MY FUTURE ENDEAVORS, CIRCLES, COMPANIES AND OPPORTUNITIES. I WANTED TO GAIN MORE THAN GREAT TECHNIQUE. I WANTED BULDING BLOCKS FOR ME TO WALK IN PROFESSIONALISM, BEAUTY AND LONGEVITY OF CAREER. I APPROACHED MY COLLEGE DAYS AS A DANCE MAJOR AS IF I WAS A HIGHLY SOUGHT AFTER DANCE LEGEND. THE MORE I LEARNED IN DANCE ACADEMIA, THE MORE I SAW MY DREAMS A REALITY. IT IS ONE THING TO GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE AND GO ON TO A COMPANY OR PROJECT JUST TO DANCE. IT IS ANOTHER THING TO BUILD A PROFESSIONAL NETWORK, HAVE A GREAT REPUTATION PRECEDE YOU AND HAVE AMAZING OPPORTUNITIES OFFERED TO YOU DURING THOSE COLLEGE YEARS AND MOST CERTAINLY BEYOND. THE OVERALL FOCUSES OF THAT ARTICLE I MENTIONED, IT STIPULATING THE CLEAR DISCONNECT OF A COLLEGE-TRAINED DANCER CROSSING OVER INTO THE PRO-LEVEL, HAVING LITTLE TO NO EXPERIENCE IS THE VERY THING I WAS ABLE TO HONE IN ON AND OVERCOME. THIS IS TO BRAG STRICTLY ON MY GOD. EVERY SINGLE PLACE I HAVE GONE AND WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE THUS FAR, LEADERSHIP IS IMPRESSED AND A LOT OF TIMES PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WHERE I HAVE TRAINED AS THEY WAIT FOR ME TO NAME A WELL-KNOWN, HIGHLY PRESTIDGIOUS CONSERVATORY OR PRE-PROFESSIONAL PROGRAM. I RECEIVED AMAZING TRAINING AT MY UNIVERSITY BUT THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES I'D MENTION MY ALMA MATER AND PEOPLE SUDDELY LOOK BLANK.LOL MY UNDERGRATE PROGRAM WAS A HUGE BLESSING TO ME. THING THAT HAVE BUILT ME ALONG THE WAY ALSO BECAME A MAIN REASON I STARTED THE TRINITYCO MENTORSHIP CONNECTION. I WANT DANCERS TO KNOW THEY CAN DOMINATE IN THEIR CAREERS EVEN FROM COLLEGE. I BEGAN MY PROFESSIONAL DANCE CAREER AS A JUNIOR COLLEGE STUDENT, HAVING WORKED WITH FIVE PRO DANCE COMPANIES AND ONE THEATRE COMPANY. I CURRENTLY WORK WITH AMERICA'S #1 DANCE COMPETITION AND AM A DANCER WITH COLUMBIA CITY BALLET. I HAVE BEEN BLESSED TO GLEAN FROM DANCE LEGENDS I STUDIED DURING UNDERGRAD AS WELL AS WORKING WITH PHENOMANAL ARTISTS OF ALL GENRES OF DANCE/CREATION. THERE ARE NO LIMITS!.

40 Days of Glory

 At the top of the year during 21 Days of fasting and prayer I did not realize I was signing up to have my life radically changed. I followed the leading of The Lord into prayer and fasting through the ministry of Revival Today Church. At this point I feel like a broken record, getting ready to say the same thing for the 5th or 6th time. I am extremely grateful for my Pastors, Jonathan and Adalis Shuttlesworth. Surely, saying "Yes" to The Lord yields blessings that will out weight your life, alone.

Here we are at the closing of 40 Days of Glory. Forty consecutive days of church services that have left me completely in love with Jesus Christ. Sunday through Tuesday (Saturdays off) we have had prayer service in the afternoon, an evening service and and two services on Sundays. The most mind blowing thing of this entire immersion is that I am not full. Have you heard people use the phrase "I am so full" after a powerful church service? Well, I am more so stretched. My capacity to live in the fullness of the power of God through His word and by my words has increased drastically. I can digest more Word than ever in my life. I have enforced more scripture that I ever have in my life. I have gained great understanding through the spirit of revelation more than I ever have in my life. As we approach day 40 of 40 Days of Glory I am amazed at how greatly The Lord has moved on our behalf. Where have the days gone? I don't want this to end. Right now The Holy Spirit is bringing to me the scripture that says "For better is one day in Your courts than a thousand else where...". My response? Surely.

During these 40 days of meetings I have seen and heard of many signs and wonders. Miracles and  healings were a staple. Allow me to pause here and express something that means so much to me. I once thought "how can I possibly know I have been touched by God if I don't need a healing miracle?". There are some people who had been struck by really bad things. That wasn't my story. Although I came to services with things I wanted God to heal (I have received through faith and prayer of agreement with faith) there were no big issues. At some services I'd get thoughts that'd say if something I was believing for hadn't changed then like the people I watched get healed during services then maybe it wasn't that important or that it wouldn't happen for me.

This takes me to the greatest truth I've come to know during 40 Days of Glory. Jesus loves me. When prayer would go forth and we'd be told to do something we couldn't do prior, I didn't have anything to really move or test out because nothing that major was wrong with me. After about the third time of hearing that I just began to thank God for other people's healings and activated my faith for the things I desired from The Lord. One day I finally made up in my mind that The Lord will answer my petition to prayer simply because He loves me. What a concept, right? I am thankful to be healthy and sane and God doesn't need for me to oppressed for Him to show up for me. There was something for me in every single meeting, day and night because I had come to realize the fullness of God's love for me. There is still more.  Proverbs 4:18 says "The path of the righteous is like the morning sun (wow), shining brighter till the full light of day." Even if I was oppressed with something from the devil, the full extent of God's goodness would not stop at Him healing me. There is a deeper. There is a higher and that is what I experienced and learned during 40 Days of Glory. There are no barriers with the anointing if you have the faith to receive. If you have the faith to receive from God not even a MacBook screen can stop the flow of His spirit. 

During this time The Lord also began talking to me about faith. It was during our Faith Week. Before being illuminated by The Word of God I had not realized that my faith was being misplaced. I now understand the law that governs my life to see the fullness of the inheritance. True Bible faith is full conviction in God's Word. My life has been elevated y'all! There is nothing else in this world I would have chosen over 40 days in the presence of God. 

I sacrificed and let go of going to hang out, traveling with my dream job and being offered the opportunity to perform at The Kennedy Center. About three weeks in I knew that had I done any of those things the way I wanted they would have knocked my focus. These past 39 days were intense for me. I have been touched by God over and over again. I have been trained to cultivate an atmosphere for the presence of God to rest wherever I am. My prayer life and language has increased, the mysteries of the Bible no longer sound like Mandarin Chinese (me being biologically American) and I have developed a pure love for The Word of God and things of God. How can I ever fail? I won't! These are just some things 40 Days of glory have given me. My family (who has not been in the meetings) have also received healings but I'm not gonna preach y'all. haha. 

One day I am going to tell my children of the great and powerful 6 weeks that took place in Pittsburgh, PA. On day 20 Pastor Jonathan said "The quality of your life will be largely determined by the hands laid on your head". Since being led to join RTC I have been prayed for by and imparted into (through the laying on of hands) by Pastor Jonathan, Pastor Kofi and Evangelist Tiff Shuttlesworth. I cannot wait to tell my children about the fiery times of year 2022. Indeed the fire will not go out but this needs to be remembered! 

To my Pastor, Jonathan Shuttlesworth, thank you for all of the things. You say so many impactful things in one sitting I cannot pick one out, minus the jokes, I keep a joke ready. To Pastor Kofi, thank you for teaching me and being exemplary in prayer and for teaching that "I overwhelm every challenge...I am an overcomer". Thank you to Jesse Duplantis for teaching me to doubt my doubts. That is so rich and I actually do it. Thank you to Dr. James Marocco for laying out the laws of defilement. That was so powerful and changed my intentionality with interactions and environments. To Pastor Augustine, thank you for teaching me that "You don't need to go through something so sad in order to preach the goodness of Jesus". To Preacher Jay thank you for exclaiming that the name of Jesus is "private property of The Church" and how we are are members of His body, flesh, and bones. You drove home the point that Jesus replicated Himself in The Church and that there is no weakness in Him therefore there is no weakness in me. *shouts*! To my favorite Evangelist, Pastor Adalis, thank you for everything. I can easily quote you but I will suffice it to say everything you preach and the way you preach it, sticks! You are a shining example of the woman I am blooming into. You are a spiritual woman of substance, great jokes, personality and a cute foot, ALWAYS! Last but certainly not least, Evangelist Tiff Shuttlesworth. I am beyond grateful I was able to hear you preach in person during the June Spiritual Emphasis Weekend. Having you close out 40 Days of glory with Bible Prophecy proved to be a goldmine. I am LITERALLY smarter because of your dedication and anointing. The other day on twitter someone tried challenging me on the rapture of The Church and I used the word "Scholarship". LOL. Who am I? 

Well, I am redeemed. I am a victor. I am the head and never the tail, above and never beneath, the lender and not the borrower. I am God's daughter. I am blessed. I am redeemed from the curse of the law. The favor of The Lord surrounds me as a shield. I am a sign and wonder in my generation. I walk in divine life, health and strength and I am forever changed because my Pastor obeyed the Lord by having 40 straight days of meetings. (p.s. Bishop Dag, I cannot wait to hear you tomorrow).

#40DaysofGlory

#AmericaShallbeSaved

#TheFireMustNeverGoOut

#LetTheTrailerBurn

#RedTacoSalsa

Consistency

 During my undergraduate years I made up my mind about my future career. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. With all of my heart I had made up my mind that all I would ever do would only revolve around and be along the path of what God has graced me to do. 

Perfectly enough, right now I am listening to my Pastor teach on "Consistency". The courage and focus to remain within the thing God has called me to do. That leads me to what I am about to say.

Last season I reluctantly had to sit out of my dance company's performance season. For now I will omit all of the details but in summation, my choice to sit out was as a result of following The leading of The Lord. During this past year there were a couple of instances I became tempted. I was tempted with the thought of veering away from the path God has set me on. In what way, you may ask? Mostly like me thinking of getting random, odd jobs. What's amazing is the one "odd" job I'd held during time away from my dance company was truly a means of provision. Imagine my surprise when I was literally, randomly fired without cause (LOL). It's funny now and it was funny then. Once I received that weird phone call of a random woman saying to me "you've been let go" I literally knew by The Spirit not only did I have nothing to worry about but God had approved that very random phone call. The funniest part was that I had worked earlier that same day and there was no inkling that that'd happen 🤣.

Here's the point of this piece. During that time away from the company and being randomly fired from a job (one that had nothing to do with my calling) The Lord set up a tailor-made connection and career opportunity for me. It happened effortlessly and seamlessly. Not only did this new venture replace my old provision (that IS A WORD) it also placed me in a unique hub within my industry. Fast forward to today. As I walked into the dance building and back to change for class I noticed a magazine subscription laying on one of the benches on the first floor. When I realized which magazine it was I had a moment with God. I could not contain my smile nor could I ignore the pieces God connected for me as I stood there in awe. Such a full-circle moment! The very place that forced me out subscribes to a magazine of a corporation God has placed me in. In that moment I was also comforted by God... how sweet.

"I'm changing levels"

The Magazine I saw

Me, at work this Summer for the same corporation

Different Hair In Ballet

 Sometimes when I scroll through insta I come across those posts that makes me think of everything dance has given me. From the raw and intrigued days at Parkway Middle, the deeply passionate days of undergrad, to today— the former days mixed with my greater understanding of what truly matters as an artists away from and on the stage. The two major subjects that have been bustling within social media, panel discussions and smaller group environments surround both equality and representation. I can easily dissect each of these but to narrow down for the sake of this piece I will tell you the subject of conversation that has left me with a clear understanding of both its beauty and place. 

Hair.

The more I develop in this passion of dance and gain clarity on where I see myself in its world, my stance of representation in the form of kinkier, more coily hair has blossomed. At one point in my life I assumed my hair could only be in a bun. Being that my love for dance began forming at the tender age of thirteen I assumed the only appropriate hairstyle for me was a slicked back bun. Do I love a slick back? ABSOLUTELY I DO! However, my hair can be classical ballet presentable in many ways than just that. Yes, your hair and my hair can both fit the mold and the "vibes".

Around 2020 I read posts that exclaimed the need for black ballet dancers to be able to wear our hair creatively and unrestricted. The overall theme of the various posts and articles were inclusion of black hair within ballet companies. At the surface it sounded alright but as I dug through explanations there was something deeper. Some conversations surrounding black hair seem to isolate black dancers in spaces they long to be accepted in. 

My thought is this:Yes! Our hair is different and we should not be excluded because of it, but that does not warrant hairstyles hat do not properly coincide with the aesthetic of classical ballet works. I, like many others, have been in situations where isolation has occurred due to the difference of my hair in comparison to my coworkers'. One day as I sat in the hallway watching a rehearsal a guest choreographer sat next to me and said "I did not choose you for this piece because you don' have long, flow-y hair". In that moment I was confused as to why she'd said that. Then, it stung a little. After that, I was okay. You know why? Because she was correct. My hair does not fall the way of the other dancers but the next time I can get me some cute, lightweight plaits that will allow for quick versatility!  The reality is, Ballet is just that genre that has a certain look. To be an artist that cares and respects your craft (words of advice from Sylvie Guillem's documentary) you must weight that fact. 

Here are a few ways my thoughts on black hair in ballet has evolved. As stated earlier, I once thought I could only wear a bun. Now, I have more styles to pull from after discovering that there are many ways to look "pulled". All styles may not be appropriate for all situations but their is "wiggle room". Last dance season I was the only black woman in my company. With most dancers wearing the cute top, flat buns or French twists, I at times felt that "it'd be great to be able to throw my hair up that way" but my hair doesn't fall that easily. So, I have a few creative ways to be aesthetically in line while staying true to myself. On the flip side, I have learned that having different hair is also never an excuse to not appropriately do my hair (I have seen that and it should never be an answer). Outside of my own hairstyles I have seen other black ballet artists rock their natural hair in a way that gave me so much more confidence!

Back in 2020 I took an online barre class with one of my favorite ballerinas, Katlyn Addison. She displayed  the mot incredible rotated legs I have ever seen. Her port de bra was crisp and her afro was out! That was the first time I saw a ballerina in an afro. It rocked my world! I think the vantage point I saw Katlyn from was one of integrity. Before that class I'd simply heard complaints about not being able to fully wear black hair in classical ballet spaces and the emphasis was placed on hairstyles more than the total artist. Why is wearing your hair any way you want to such a huge deal? is what I'd think reading certain things but when I saw Katlyn I simply saw a choice. Sometimes the volume of protest for black women in ballet can be overcome by cries that melt into exclusion when all anyone wants to do is be accepted. To do that, just be! That is what Katlyn taught me. You may not be able to go on stage dancing Juliet or Odette with Burgundy box braids or an afro but what does that matter when you love and respect your art. When you can and when it feels appropriate, go for it. As a black dancer you don't have to hide facets of yourself but everything doesn't always need to be on display to validate you being a black artist.

Today, Chyrstyn Fentroy posted a photo of herself on the way to teach Ballet, in her afro. She mentioned being asked if she was indeed teaching Classical Ballet because of her choice of hairstyle. Again, just be! That is what Chyrstyn was doing. After days and weeks of having your hair pulled back sometimes you want a break. While that should not cause people to second guess your abilities nor competence, we cannot help how others might perceive our hair differences. What matters most is your artistry and commitment to the work. Both Katlyn and Chrystyn are brilliant and strong principal ballerinas. It looks different when your stance is different. I have seen what I consider inappropriate hairstyles for work days and that would not be praised. The name of the game is being beautiful in your differences, respecting the craft you love and serving the work. 

Don't go anywhere looking crazy. Be presentable. "Show them how beautiful you are" (Arthur Mitchell). But don't make a habit of advocating for your hair more than you do, your work. Now, this isn't one of those "conversations" for those who may not have hair like us to chime in and try "understanding" us. This is for us. Not a piece of exclusion, but encouragement. Accept your difference amongst your coworkers and in your company. Love and respect your craft and dance on.

<3

Katlyn Addison, Ballet West Principal Artist (during ballet class) 

 Me, Trinity Cox, Columbia City Ballet Cort de Ballet Artist