Sometimes when I scroll through insta I come across those posts that makes me think of everything dance has given me. From the raw and intrigued days at Parkway Middle, the deeply passionate days of undergrad, to today— the former days mixed with my greater understanding of what truly matters as an artists away from and on the stage. The two major subjects that have been bustling within social media, panel discussions and smaller group environments surround both equality and representation. I can easily dissect each of these but to narrow down for the sake of this piece I will tell you the subject of conversation that has left me with a clear understanding of both its beauty and place.
Hair.
The more I develop in this passion of dance and gain clarity on where I see myself in its world, my stance of representation in the form of kinkier, more coily hair has blossomed. At one point in my life I assumed my hair could only be in a bun. Being that my love for dance began forming at the tender age of thirteen I assumed the only appropriate hairstyle for me was a slicked back bun. Do I love a slick back? ABSOLUTELY I DO! However, my hair can be classical ballet presentable in many ways than just that. Yes, your hair and my hair can both fit the mold and the "vibes".
Around 2020 I read posts that exclaimed the need for black ballet dancers to be able to wear our hair creatively and unrestricted. The overall theme of the various posts and articles were inclusion of black hair within ballet companies. At the surface it sounded alright but as I dug through explanations there was something deeper. Some conversations surrounding black hair seem to isolate black dancers in spaces they long to be accepted in.
My thought is this:Yes! Our hair is different and we should not be excluded because of it, but that does not warrant hairstyles hat do not properly coincide with the aesthetic of classical ballet works. I, like many others, have been in situations where isolation has occurred due to the difference of my hair in comparison to my coworkers'. One day as I sat in the hallway watching a rehearsal a guest choreographer sat next to me and said "I did not choose you for this piece because you don' have long, flow-y hair". In that moment I was confused as to why she'd said that. Then, it stung a little. After that, I was okay. You know why? Because she was correct. My hair does not fall the way of the other dancers but the next time I can get me some cute, lightweight plaits that will allow for quick versatility! The reality is, Ballet is just that genre that has a certain look. To be an artist that cares and respects your craft (words of advice from Sylvie Guillem's documentary) you must weight that fact.
Here are a few ways my thoughts on black hair in ballet has evolved. As stated earlier, I once thought I could only wear a bun. Now, I have more styles to pull from after discovering that there are many ways to look "pulled". All styles may not be appropriate for all situations but their is "wiggle room". Last dance season I was the only black woman in my company. With most dancers wearing the cute top, flat buns or French twists, I at times felt that "it'd be great to be able to throw my hair up that way" but my hair doesn't fall that easily. So, I have a few creative ways to be aesthetically in line while staying true to myself. On the flip side, I have learned that having different hair is also never an excuse to not appropriately do my hair (I have seen that and it should never be an answer). Outside of my own hairstyles I have seen other black ballet artists rock their natural hair in a way that gave me so much more confidence!
Back in 2020 I took an online barre class with one of my favorite ballerinas, Katlyn Addison. She displayed the mot incredible rotated legs I have ever seen. Her port de bra was crisp and her afro was out! That was the first time I saw a ballerina in an afro. It rocked my world! I think the vantage point I saw Katlyn from was one of integrity. Before that class I'd simply heard complaints about not being able to fully wear black hair in classical ballet spaces and the emphasis was placed on hairstyles more than the total artist. Why is wearing your hair any way you want to such a huge deal? is what I'd think reading certain things but when I saw Katlyn I simply saw a choice. Sometimes the volume of protest for black women in ballet can be overcome by cries that melt into exclusion when all anyone wants to do is be accepted. To do that, just be! That is what Katlyn taught me. You may not be able to go on stage dancing Juliet or Odette with Burgundy box braids or an afro but what does that matter when you love and respect your art. When you can and when it feels appropriate, go for it. As a black dancer you don't have to hide facets of yourself but everything doesn't always need to be on display to validate you being a black artist.
Today, Chyrstyn Fentroy posted a photo of herself on the way to teach Ballet, in her afro. She mentioned being asked if she was indeed teaching Classical Ballet because of her choice of hairstyle. Again, just be! That is what Chyrstyn was doing. After days and weeks of having your hair pulled back sometimes you want a break. While that should not cause people to second guess your abilities nor competence, we cannot help how others might perceive our hair differences. What matters most is your artistry and commitment to the work. Both Katlyn and Chrystyn are brilliant and strong principal ballerinas. It looks different when your stance is different. I have seen what I consider inappropriate hairstyles for work days and that would not be praised. The name of the game is being beautiful in your differences, respecting the craft you love and serving the work.
Don't go anywhere looking crazy. Be presentable. "Show them how beautiful you are" (Arthur Mitchell). But don't make a habit of advocating for your hair more than you do, your work. Now, this isn't one of those "conversations" for those who may not have hair like us to chime in and try "understanding" us. This is for us. Not a piece of exclusion, but encouragement. Accept your difference amongst your coworkers and in your company. Love and respect your craft and dance on.
<3
Katlyn Addison, Ballet West Principal Artist (during ballet class)
Me, Trinity Cox, Columbia City Ballet Cort de Ballet Artist
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