Been Happening, Still Happening

 Contrary to the last year that has been raided by large and loud opinions on long-standing issues within the dance world, it has been happening for quite some time. Although Raven Wilkinson nor Delores Browne had the help of social media and it billions of overly-tentative users, even they had their bouts with some of the stigmas in dance culture. I know the increase of nationally publicized police brutality really took its stance from 2020 until now, but that was just the beginning. Amidst the scenery of nationally-syndicated protests came major reveals of injustice, institutional racism and at times, blatant disrespect from dancers all across the world. 

Allow me to begin by saying that I was not a fan of seeing all of this play out on social media. However, as life would have it, my own experiences had been happening right along with the stories that echoed through Tik-Tok, Instagram, Dance Magazine prose, and so on. My issue is that I personally find it irresponsible and unrelated to the art of dance to speak on things like hair styles and the color of tights if it is not actually affecting the art. After all, my preference even as a dark-skinned ballerina, should never trump the serving of this beautiful art form. I do believe, however, that being in an organization that does not celebrate the totality of its makeup does in fact compromise and affect the art of dance in some way. 

In a dance company, everyone will not be on the same level and not everyone will dance roles suitable for high ranking dancers. However, every dancer should be equally represented through the way the company broadcasts its organization, beliefs, values and intentions. On a "heavier scale", I have weighed the realities of my past few months spent in a company. It was an Instagram story post that made me realize I had never been reposted on my company's instagram story. Sounds small? not so much. As the only African-American woman during the company's last season, I believe my existence there was important to display,  even outside of the one time I was featured during the run of a ballet we did which was about the culture of a people with African American heritage. Why had I not been posted? Why was it almost impossible to know I was a part of the company unless you have a personal connection to me? (There were seriously times I'd be with co-workers grabbing lunch after a run and audience members congratulate us for a job well-done and not one would make eye contact with me.. but I digress)

At this very moment I am thinking of the young girls in the school who see me walk through the halls and follow mw on insta. I also think of the young girls who could have possibly been in the audience either night as I boldly took the stage. I am thinking of the time my director had to re-stage our Cinderella when a few girls in the corps were unable to perform. During those runs I was front and center. You think I found any photos, besides a full stage shot, of me, in character? Not at all. I am in no way blaming the photographer, per say, except making the point that my existence in the company was overall "flat". contrary to those things, I actually did not have a miserable time in the company. The inspiration for this writing piece is simply an extension of the awkward and ridiculous moments that have been taking place in companies every where, including my own. My goal or even solution is not to be in an "all black company". My goal is to continue the narrative  (because there really is no conversation) because it will make me stronger and perhaps one day, someone will "get it".

For the past few months, I've been in a place where I was tolerated but not really celebrated, watched but not cared for...

... Sometimes its the unfortunate turn of events that lead to divine propulsion.

Here's To being brave.